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Tag: death

The Demons That Drive Me [Warning: Personal]

The Demons That Drive Me [Warning: Personal]

Whether they are willing to admit them or not, everyone has demons that drive them every single day. Some negative thought or if not negative, some re-occurring thought that haunts them. Sometimes these thoughts can drive you to want to succeed more, other times (especially if you don’t know how to take advantage of them) they can lead you to failure. Well, below I reveal mine. I think about these things every day and they help me put my life in perspective.

My Own Death

Every day I think about the day I will die. I wonder, will it be today? This thought constantly puts my life in line. It’s the same reason why at times I can be a little too serious. I get stressed when I think that I am running out of time. To tame this demon, I study eastern philosophy and read / listen to Eckart Tolle. I have dedicated the last 4 years of my life to learning to live “in the moment” and stop worrying so much about my thoughts. I highly recommend the book [easyazon_link identifier=”1577314808″ locale=”US” tag=”paser-20″]The Power of Now[/easyazon_link]. This video has helped me cope with my thoughts as well:

Sexual Expression

No matter how much I have sex, it’s never enough. I constantly want more and better sex. Makes me wonder if  I was even meant to be monogamous. People I know recommend the book [easyazon_link identifier=”0061707813″ locale=”US” tag=”paser-20″]Sex at Dawn[/easyazon_link], apparently diving deeper into the subject, but i haven’t had time to read it yet. In a sense I am torn in two. Part of me wants a serious relationship and the other part is the animal without the mind. I want to constantly attack and dominate anything in my life, in every area of my life. How can I do this and be with one person? It is extremely complex and there is no answer.

Ego Attachments & Uprising

Every day whenever anything good or bad happens to me I try to disassociate myself from it. My ego is constantly trying to attach itself to things / emotions / people to make an identity for myself. Fuck that. I don’t want an identity, I would like to constantly be evolving, living in the present moment. Staying humble. Without an identity I am free, with one I am just like everybody else. So while others may try to label me or put me in a box, I am constantly on myself to stay ego-less and not get big headed. Nothing I have obtained in my life makes a damn difference, all that matters is the current moment. Meditation has helped me a lot in this area.

These are thoughts that are on my mind every day. Re-occurring and dense. Anyone have any similar demons of their own?