“Don’t analyze, don’t spreadsheet…”
In health, business, friends, etc you can take two paths…
Path 1 -> Same (easy, not risky, comfortable) = Staying the same
Path 2 -> Different (hard, risky, stressful) = Growing
If you take path 2 eventually it will turn into path 1 and you will have to make your choice again. Will you chose to grow or stay the same?
Glad it’s Friday, it’s been a CRAZY busy last few weeks. Tomorrow I’m going to Disneyland with the rest of SerTop to celebrate our busiest month ever. Been wanting to get this off my chest for a while…
About a month ago I finally realized the only the way to be truly happy is to kill my ego, almost completely. You were born without an ego or identity. Then slowly you developed one and it latched on to everything – sports teams, status in life, ideals, religions. These things became part of you. People became a part of you and defined you.They formed your ego and your identity. Those things you associate yourself with. The… THIS IS ME aspect of your life.
If you want to become a mature adult you need to kill this part of yourself. Most of us mistake having an ego and attachment as being a more mature adult ( i have a house, a car, a job, therefore i am a mature person). I have news… all that doesn’t mean shit towards your happiness. Without an ego, you can not be hurt – you are completely unafraid of failure and rejection because you have nothing to lose and you also have nothing to prove to ANYONE. The only reason people get fearful in certain life situations is because they feel it will negatively affect their identity aka hurt their ego.
Have you ever see that short movie by Spike Jonze where Kanye West kills his ego (below)? In the video near the end he cuts out this little creature which represents his ego and has hands it a little sword to have it kill itself.
Before you started attaching yourself to everything, you were born happy. Happy and free were your default state. You can not be happy if you continually try to find an identity for yourself in other things and people.
I’ve known this for a while since I’m really big into Eckhart Tolle and his teachings in the book The Power of Now, but it really clicked about a month ago. If I was going to kill most of my ego, I’d have to stop caring about certain things in my life. How can I do this? I needed to obviously prioritize my focus and I recommend you do the same.
As I make this change in my life I am getting closer and closer to becoming completely fearless. Testing myself under extreme situations but not attaching myself to any of it because through meditation and letting go of my thoughts I have become more free. I hope to get to a point to where I can be fully in the moment during every aspect of my life.
Unlike most people who preach to kill the ego, I strongly advise still going for everything you want in life. Be motivated, get the car, the house, the traveling, etc – but don’t attach yourself to any of it. Don’t let it make an identity for you. Don’t let it ruin the real you – the YOU that was born happy.
Here is a great Eckhart Tolle Video…
I came across this video a few days ago:
“What i’m trying to say is you got to cut a little piece of yourself off, no matter how much it hurts, in order to grow…in order to move on.”
This is solid and made me think about some things. The egoic self attaches itself to people, ideas, habits, etc and it doesn’t want to let them go. What this ultimately means is that if you would like to grow in any area of your life, you need to get good at saying NO to things that are currently holding you back. NO to shit food, NO to manipulative ex lovers, NO to things that waste your time, NO to fill in the blank.
Of course you also need to know the things to say yes to as well or you will be misguided. Be hungry to learn, to want more out of yourself.
I’ve spent my whole life killing parts of myself…
A few months ago, I stopped drinking completely. I did it because i realized it was getting in the way of my focus and I was using it as a crutch to be more at ease socially. I had to kill the part of my mind that wanted to drink in order to grow and not use it as a crutch anymore. It worked and because of the sacrifice I am now better off.
When it comes to relationships it is especially important to take note of negative manipulation early and cut it off completely. Kill the part of yourself that feels sorry for someone else’s indecision. Make the decision to move in a better direction.
When it comes to business, take a good look at what is going on. Realize that in order to grow more you need to kill certain aspects and just flat our say no. A business that try’s to do it ALL becomes the fat kid on the block that eats fast foot and dies young. Slash and grow. Keep an eye on trends RELEVANT TO YOUR COMPANY (NOT YOUR COMPETITORS)
Be honest with yourself, what things do you need to KILL in yourself to grow?
My mom thinks I have a potty mouth with these absurd titles. Oh well, these posts aren’t for everyone.
I have cut down my alcohol intake over the last 3 months to just about ZERO. Did I mention I live in Las Vegas? When I go out for a night on the town, I don’t drink. I have no urge to drink any more at all. This is not as easy as it sounds and if you are a regular drinker like I was, you may discover that socializing without the BOOZE is a little tough. You go from being as slick as Clint Eastwood to sounding robotic like Rosie from The Jetsons – beep. boop. beep. bepp.
After a few weeks of going out without drinking, things began to become more normal. Your social faculties come back just like if you were drinking and you no longer feel weird about telling people you are water wasted.
Since I’ve stopped drinking, I have lost weight and feel much more healthy. I am a hundred times more productive at the office.
Since I stopped drinking, I don’t experience:
- Beer gut issues.
- Beer farts.
- Head pounding before i go to bed.
- The need to eat fast food at 4 in the monring.
- Saying stupid shit.
- Doing stupid shit.
- Drunk driving.
- Waking up in random places.
This isn’t for everyone, but I’m just saying for me this turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve made. There are a few other bad habits I need to kick.
My Current Drink of Choice:
Every since I was a kid my mom would take me to this Chinese restaurant a town over from where we lived in Michigan. My last trip back we ended up going there to get some food. Surprisingly, the waitress that waited on us when I was in grade school still worked there and remembered us! Off the wall.
Unlike my grade school days, I wasn’t just going for the AMAZING almond chicken. This time I wanted to pick my mom’s brain and get some advice. At the time, I was just coming off a rocky break up and needed to set some things straight in my own life.
The first thing I began to tell her, which she and anyone else very close to me knows, is that I get angry when things or people I’m close with aren’t up to my standards. I don’t just get mad though, i tear into people personally from the inside out. It’s a dark side of my personality, that rarely gets shown unless I truly care about someone.
My mom told me what seems obvious: Think before you say anything, especially when talking to people you are close with. Sometimes we think just because we are close with someone – a sibling, parent, partner, etc – we can unleash our anger and frustrations out on them. That isn’t fair to anyone. This was a good refresh for me to think before I start rambling, and boy can I ramble.
As our conversation progressed I began to go deeper and talk about how I had this need to change people to make them better. Most of us have been in this situation and almost all of us come out with the same realization: you can’t change people they can only change themselves. This is completely true. My mom told me to care about other people but to not get involved with the details and to Lead By Example. Another obvious slap in the face from my Mom. There are a lot of examples of when you might want to change someone, but instead you must lead by example…
Trying to get your friends to eat right? Eat right when your with them and when they ask you how you lost so much weight tell them how you did it KNOWING that they may never take your advice. Just give, don’t push.
Trying to get someone to be happy? Be happy and learn about happiness. If they aren’t happy with you or as a person they won’t last in your life.
Bottom line is, you need to lead by example without even caring if the other person changes with you. They will fall away on the sidelines or run along with you for a crazy adventure.
So if you can sometimes be an angry man like me, think before you say anything (especially when talking with people close to you) AND instead of trying to change people, lead by example.
Thank you Mom.
It’s amazing how much we take things for granted as business owners, c-level’s, employees and consumers.
Not too long ago in 2008, the TV was telling me the economy was in shambles and my best friend Derrick worked for GM, which was doing some heavy laying off because of their situation. I was worried for my friend at the time but thankfully his job wasn’t effected or disrupted. During this “horrible economic time” I was embarking on a business adventure and moving to from a small town in Michigan to Las Vegas. I didn’t see failure as an option and you might very well say that me and my business partner were delusional. But, being delusional paid off because A Business is a Beautiful Thing.
Consider the circle of events: A business starts. Hires employees. Offers value with goods and services. Accumulates customers and capital. Pays employees so they can use other businesses goods and services.
I think we often forget about that last part. Let’s just say (without getting into politics) that GM would have went completely under – I’m not talking about bankruptcy under, I’m talking about vanished. Poof. Consider how the surrounding restaurant and bar business would completely cripple around each plant. It would be devastating, but it is the natural course of events for businesses that fall behind.
A Healthy Business Opens the Door for New Businesses
Google Search. Apple’s App Store. Let’s focus on these two.
Google search allows you to put your website in front of millions of users relatively inexpensively using a product they have called AdWords. You can also work at the free version of this which is called Search Engine Optimization. These tools and skill sets allow you to put up a website that offers value and get widely recognized faster than you could ever do otherwise. Google’s business creates a place for your business to prosper – it’s win/win if you have a good skill set.
Like Google, Apple allows you to create an Application for the iPhone, iPad and I believe Mac now if i’m not mistaken. You can sell this App and take 70% off the profit. Not bad. If you can provide value through this App you might just find yourself in a different life situation 🙂
These two companies along with many others create an ecosystem that let other businesses and individuals thrive. It’s a beautiful thing if you really look at it.
Have you came across any business that help you or others succeed by providing tools and services to get your name out?
Everyone is an artist. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from. We each have things we are very good at and creatively use our minds to do these great things. But…
Do you ship your artistry?
When I heard about Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple) coining that phrase it really hit it home for me. Everyone has got ideas, but not everyone actually delivers their products. Your art doesn’t have to cost money like Apples Iphone. In fact, money is completely irrelevant. What is not irrelevant is marketing.
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