Never settle for mediocrity, keep pushing yourself beyond your means. Keeps learning and growing. Do it for yourself and your family. Never let up. Don’t get an ego about it. Learn to love the process and respect greatness. Do not put up with people who don’t want to grow and let the fall by the wayside. Know deep down what it takes to succeed is constant improvement. If you forget this and get lazy you will fail. Your life will be meaningless.
Glad it’s Friday, it’s been a CRAZY busy last few weeks. Tomorrow I’m going to Disneyland with the rest of SerTop to celebrate our busiest month ever. Been wanting to get this off my chest for a while…
About a month ago I finally realized the only the way to be truly happy is to kill my ego, almost completely. You were born without an ego or identity. Then slowly you developed one and it latched on to everything – sports teams, status in life, ideals, religions. These things became part of you. People became a part of you and defined you.They formed your ego and your identity. Those things you associate yourself with. The… THIS IS ME aspect of your life.
If you want to become a mature adult you need to kill this part of yourself. Most of us mistake having an ego and attachment as being a more mature adult ( i have a house, a car, a job, therefore i am a mature person). I have news… all that doesn’t mean shit towards your happiness. Without an ego, you can not be hurt – you are completely unafraid of failure and rejection because you have nothing to lose and you also have nothing to prove to ANYONE. The only reason people get fearful in certain life situations is because they feel it will negatively affect their identity aka hurt their ego.
Have you ever see that short movie by Spike Jonze where Kanye West kills his ego (below)? In the video near the end he cuts out this little creature which represents his ego and has hands it a little sword to have it kill itself.
Before you started attaching yourself to everything, you were born happy. Happy and free were your default state. You can not be happy if you continually try to find an identity for yourself in other things and people.
I’ve known this for a while since I’m really big into Eckhart Tolle and his teachings in the book The Power of Now, but it really clicked about a month ago. If I was going to kill most of my ego, I’d have to stop caring about certain things in my life. How can I do this? I needed to obviously prioritize my focus and I recommend you do the same.
As I make this change in my life I am getting closer and closer to becoming completely fearless. Testing myself under extreme situations but not attaching myself to any of it because through meditation and letting go of my thoughts I have become more free. I hope to get to a point to where I can be fully in the moment during every aspect of my life.
Unlike most people who preach to kill the ego, I strongly advise still going for everything you want in life. Be motivated, get the car, the house, the traveling, etc – but don’t attach yourself to any of it. Don’t let it make an identity for you. Don’t let it ruin the real you – the YOU that was born happy.
Here is a great Eckhart Tolle Video…
Non Identical Twins…
Looked at the ultrasound this morning. Name ideas? Names? Nope already got em…
It was scorching fucking hot in Vegas out in front of our office when me and my business partner Adam decided… wow STbands is not giving our customers the best experience. Two different groups coming to one confused site. We decided enough is enough. The site had to be split in two. Before we even knew the names, we new that one site needed to focus on selling custom sweatbands, custom silicone wristbands and other custom promotional products, swag and giveaways. The other site needed to cater to people looking for sweat bands and other unique sports accessories. This was the make up of our old STbands site.
These two sites mark a milestone for my company. Because the two websites are only half the story. We made a substantial investment in a new back-end that will allow our customers / team to have an even better experience.
Also in other SerTop news, we had our busiest month ever last month. As a result, we decided this month to take our whole team to Disneyland – each person gets to bring someone else and everything including the hotel, transportation and meals is paid for by us. We are extremely proud of how hard our team has worked.
I’ll let you know when I really have kids. Which will be soon.
Hear that? Of course you don’t… it’s your mind looking for stimulation. Stimulation that it mistakes for happiness. Lately, I have essentially been training my mind to stop thinking about what doesn’t matter. It’s really an art because you are actively painting your own blank canvas in this life. Every moment you are making an unconscious decision what to focus on, splashing that sheet with all sorts of different colors.
As you get older you realize only a few things are important in life. All the shit that was crammed into your head by society growing up means nothing and in fact it has set you back years in being happy and successful. Shut up with your drama, petty bullshit, excuses and start actually giving a fuck about what does matter.
Do you know what is important to you? If not i recommend you write that shit down… NOW. In my case it’s very simple, three things:
Work – Hustle my ass off until there is nothing left in me. Essentially be a (productive) slave to my team and customers. Having that feeling of being completely drained at the end of the day. Work from home, work at the office, work on the plane, work where-ever. Getting Things Done. If i have a work day where i am not productive (which happens) i feel like complete shit. There is no worse feeling. Why? I hold myself responsible for giving other people the opportunity to excel in life. I hold myself responsible for giving my team and partners the opportunity to be able to give their kids / future kids and there grand kids the upbringing they deserve. That is literally the type of thing running through my head on a day to day basis.
Health– Physical and mental. Eat clean / good food, work out hard, bike, pool, hit trails, meditate, and surround my mind with good people and books. A good dose of learning and taking massive action. Existing in the present moment. Good sex, often. You know, Maslow didn’t put sex as a basic human need on his famous hierarchy of needs as a joke…
Fun – Amazing experiences with amazing people. If I had the energy / time I would go out every single night to meet new people and have a new adventure. Just being outside of the house does it for me. Traveling to different places, even on short notice.
So next time you think about your petty drama or stupid low conscious thoughts ask yourself… Does this even fucking matter in relation to what’s most important to me?
I came across this video a few days ago:
“What i’m trying to say is you got to cut a little piece of yourself off, no matter how much it hurts, in order to grow…in order to move on.”
This is solid and made me think about some things. The egoic self attaches itself to people, ideas, habits, etc and it doesn’t want to let them go. What this ultimately means is that if you would like to grow in any area of your life, you need to get good at saying NO to things that are currently holding you back. NO to shit food, NO to manipulative ex lovers, NO to things that waste your time, NO to fill in the blank.
Of course you also need to know the things to say yes to as well or you will be misguided. Be hungry to learn, to want more out of yourself.
I’ve spent my whole life killing parts of myself…
A few months ago, I stopped drinking completely. I did it because i realized it was getting in the way of my focus and I was using it as a crutch to be more at ease socially. I had to kill the part of my mind that wanted to drink in order to grow and not use it as a crutch anymore. It worked and because of the sacrifice I am now better off.
When it comes to relationships it is especially important to take note of negative manipulation early and cut it off completely. Kill the part of yourself that feels sorry for someone else’s indecision. Make the decision to move in a better direction.
When it comes to business, take a good look at what is going on. Realize that in order to grow more you need to kill certain aspects and just flat our say no. A business that try’s to do it ALL becomes the fat kid on the block that eats fast foot and dies young. Slash and grow. Keep an eye on trends RELEVANT TO YOUR COMPANY (NOT YOUR COMPETITORS)
Be honest with yourself, what things do you need to KILL in yourself to grow?
Three years ago I took a tour through Zappos HQ in Henderson, Nevada. When I walked in they had a massive book shelf. On the shelf were numerous books on focus, business and other topics. One book, I can’t remember the name, was on the topic of happiness and I was extremely interested. Over the last 3 years I have dived deep into the concept of happiness and what makes one happy.
How I Stay Happy & How You Can Too…
Below are 5 ways I continuously stay happy, but first I want to mention something that is foundational and that is you need a ecosystem of positivity around you. What do I mean by this? Well, what I mean is that you have so many things that you are doing for your well being that if you take one of those element out it won’t ruin you. You aren’t dependent on anything or any one thing for your happiness. Most people find themselves latching on to one thing, like a girlfriend and when shit hits the fan they can not recover as fast because their ecosystem is so dependent on that one person. Now, on to the 5 ways I stay happy…
Don’t Take Anything Personally
This one has been particularly hard for me over the years, but it’s a must if you want to stay happy. If a person does something that really sets you off, realize that you have a choice to focus on that or something else. Just let go, no matter how bad you think a person did you wrong. I’ve been there a million times where my mind just literally goes CRAZY on someone. I can tear people to shreds if I am not practicing this art of not taking anything personally.
Connect With Others & Have Good (happy) Friends
People always say to have a good group of friends around you, but what does that even mean? It means you can joke with them, shoot shit, have a good laugh. It also means you can have more in depth conversations about things you are going through. Sometimes your friends will be able to offer value to your situation and other times they won’t. The most important thing you’ll come to realize about good friends is that they listen. The best friends you have will humble you and bring you back down to earth when your ego gets the best of you.
Strive To Be Healthy
Everyone says this…what the hell are you suppose to take from this? Nutrition is by far the most important thing – more important than working out – for your health. Not only that but, being healthy is maybe the most important aspect of staying happy in tough times. I could literally write a book on health, instead I’ll give you a list of books I’ve read (there are also plenty of free resources on the net):
Live In The Present Moment
The true way to escape your mind, which creates most of your unhappiness, is to live fully in the present moment. There was never a time that was not now, nor will there ever be (as Eckhart Tolle says). Take a deep breath and enjoy the scenery around you. Focus on your breathing. Being present, as they call it, is the most profound life shift one can make. With all the shit crammed into your head on a daily basis, presence is your way back to the truth. The truth that all that exists is this moment. People tell you to live in the moment, but they unfortunately have ruined the saying. Now living in the moment means getting wasted, doing stupid shit and ending up feeling horrible the next day. Being present doesn’t require any special substance, you only need a pulse.
Change How You See Things
There are two sides to every thing that happens to you in this life. In any given situation you can choose to see the opportunity or the negatives. If you lose your job, now you have an opportunity to get a new and better one. Have to move back in with your parents? This will give you a better chance to connect with and learn from them. Relationship ended? Good, you’ll finally get one you deserve. See, you don’t have to latch on to the negatives. The only reason you do is because your mind is searching for and addicted to these thought patterns. You can combat this by staying present, not taking anything personally and having great friends.
Whether they are willing to admit them or not, everyone has demons that drive them every single day. Some negative thought or if not negative, some re-occurring thought that haunts them. Sometimes these thoughts can drive you to want to succeed more, other times (especially if you don’t know how to take advantage of them) they can lead you to failure. Well, below I reveal mine. I think about these things every day and they help me put my life in perspective.
My Own Death
Every day I think about the day I will die. I wonder, will it be today? This thought constantly puts my life in line. It’s the same reason why at times I can be a little too serious. I get stressed when I think that I am running out of time. To tame this demon, I study eastern philosophy and read / listen to Eckart Tolle. I have dedicated the last 4 years of my life to learning to live “in the moment” and stop worrying so much about my thoughts. I highly recommend the book The Power of Now. This video has helped me cope with my thoughts as well:
No matter how much I have sex, it’s never enough. I constantly want more and better sex. Makes me wonder if I was even meant to be monogamous. People I know recommend the book Sex at Dawn, apparently diving deeper into the subject, but i haven’t had time to read it yet. In a sense I am torn in two. Part of me wants a serious relationship and the other part is the animal without the mind. I want to constantly attack and dominate anything in my life, in every area of my life. How can I do this and be with one person? It is extremely complex and there is no answer.
Ego Attachments & Uprising
Every day whenever anything good or bad happens to me I try to disassociate myself from it. My ego is constantly trying to attach itself to things / emotions / people to make an identity for myself. Fuck that. I don’t want an identity, I would like to constantly be evolving, living in the present moment. Staying humble. Without an identity I am free, with one I am just like everybody else. So while others may try to label me or put me in a box, I am constantly on myself to stay ego-less and not get big headed. Nothing I have obtained in my life makes a damn difference, all that matters is the current moment. Meditation has helped me a lot in this area.
These are thoughts that are on my mind every day. Re-occurring and dense. Anyone have any similar demons of their own?
On a very immature, but somewhat true for most, level – not long after most people are in a relationship they want to be single again & not long after they are single again they want to be in a relationship. The grass is always greener on the other side. This is especially true for people of high status (celebrity divorces).
The Reason For This?
There are two reasons I can think of: People have no fucking clue how to make relationships work & people generally don’t know what they want. Basically, out of scarcity most people throw themselves into relationships & out of stupidity they find themselves thrown out of them.
In some cases it serves people to be single more than in a relationship and vice versa. But instead of looking within themselves, people look to society to tell them how to feel about this subject. For example, some men are actually more productive if they are in a relationships with a variety of women instead of just one, conversely some men need just that one to be productive. This is different person to person.
There a variety of different situations like this.
Do You Know
What Who You Want?
No, really… do you know who you want? What are their traits? Ok, now get that out of your head because it doesn’t exist. You can find someone who is close, but you can never find exactly what you want because your expectations are way too high. You’ve watched one too many movies and have escaped from reality. What you need is someone who has a good head on their shoulders. Someone who can be honest with you and loves the shit out of you, but still has their own version of reality.
Making Relationships Work
I’ll tell you straight away that some relationships aren’t meant to work, the two are not compatible and love fades. Don’t force it. This usually happens if one of the two don’t know what they want. If they are confused, don’t waste time trying to win them over. Just work on being your best self and the right one will come along. Let me say that again, work on being your best self for YOU. Mastery health and your emotions, have some fun – life is short.
Assuming you both want each other and you aren’t confused, than you have a whole other issue: making it work. Even if you are single and not looking for a relationships, i recommend the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. The reason is, it will help you understand the opposite sex much better.
Since this is a male perspective, here are some important points when you are with your woman…
Listen without offering solutions – Many relationships don’t work because men do not listen. I don’t mean you have to be a push over and do everything she says, but the least you can do is listen to everything she has to say and NOT OFFER SOLUTIONS. Women don’t want to hear solutions, they just want someone to listen to them. If they need solutions they can go to their girl friends.
Women Think In Emotions, Not Logically – Many men make the mistake of thinking women can even comprehend their intense logical ideas. The problem is a feminine woman is more concerned about feelings and emotions, not logic. Shut the fuck up with your logic and give her a kiss or talk in an emotional way. Most of the time what you feel, she feels.
A Woman’s Friends Are Extremely Important – Respect her friends and her time with them. This will pay back dividends in the future.
Love – Love the girl you are with, don’t just say it. Show it in multiple ways, every single day.
Be Decisive – Know exactly what you want and tell her about it. There is nothing a girl hates more than a guy who does not know what they want – this goes the other way around too 🙂
Masculine / Feminine Polarity is Important
This video says it perfectly…
I’m starving! Until next time…
How would you feel if you didn’t brush your teeth for a day? Well that is how i feel if I don’t work out for a day.
How in the hell do I make a correlation between working out and brushing your teeth? They are both habits. They are not a must, they are habits. You do not have to brush your teeth, you do it because you want good dental health. If your like most people who strive to be healthy and feel good, you do it more than you work out.
Your Habits & Rituals Make You
Brushing your teeth is a ritual. Looking in the mirror every day, a ritual. Putting stuff in your hair, a ritual. Sex, a ritual. These things make or break you in the long term.